With all the problems in the world and countless issues – like Windows 8 & Linux – awaiting TechnoRants©, Dr. Data has nothing better to do with his time than blether on about the enduring social fiction known as the ‘Little White Lie’. We’ve all told them at one time or another; those fibs intended to comfort, encourage, soothe or avoid hurting someone’s feelings. For example, a friend presents you with a truly hideous gift of no practical or aesthetic value. Instead of asking the person “Have you been dumpster diving again?”, we avoid hurting the feelings of the – usually – well-intentioned gift-giver by saying “What a lovely/handsome/thoughtful gift! I will have to think of just the right place to display/use it.”

In reality, the next time that the aforementioned gift will see the light of day will be:

  1. On sale at a charity shop
  2. On the table at a neighbour’s yard sale
  3. Given as a gift to someone or other who will then pass it on to someone else, traversing the 6 degrees of separation until it returns home to the original gift-giver.

The white lie was the subject of a column by Ceila Walden in London’s Daily Telegraph concerning what we tend to say upon seeing someone’s baby for the first time. While we may say to the parent “What a sweet/adorable/handsome/beautiful baby you have!”, we privately ponder the feasibly of giving the poor kid a lifetime supply of paper bags.

Like most everything on the internet now-a-days, there was a space for user commentary following the column. The following two jokes were gleaned from the various remarks by readers. One is an auld chestnut that is still worth a smile while the other is one that Dr. Data has not seen before. Enjoy!


A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says:

“Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her:

“‘The driver just insulted me!”

The man says:

“You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”


A man with two beautiful daughters visits his wife in hospital after the birth of an ugly son.

Husband says to wife, “How come we have two beautiful girls and now this? Have you been playing away from home?”

Wife to husband, “Not this time.”



In truth, we’d be lost without all those little white lies – The Daily Telegraph

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