NOAA – the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration – has announced that aquatic humanoids do not exist and never have existed. That means that every mermaid from Ariel to Zelda is nothing but the product of overactive imaginations and mythology.

This is an outrage!!! The whole thing smells like a government cover-up and I would not be surprised if the CIA and/or the NSA were behind it all! How dare they lie to us! At the end of the day, we all KNOW that mermaids – and men – exist . . .right???

For the “official” tissue of lies, have a look at the NOAA website.

Even the supposedly reputable Time Magazine is in on the cover-up.

I don’t know about you but I’m going to write my Congressperson!!!

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